We too move on. Pete and Matt go back to school tomorrow. It's the start of a
new year with different teachers, different classes and for Pete the
beginning of Year 11 and VCE. Tim starts Medicine (yippeee) tomorrow.
And Ben is not here and won't ever be part of these significant changes.
A new surge of grief hits as we come to terms with 'the future' (tomorrow)
as a place where Ben has never been and will never be. Relentlessly and
unforgivingly time and the machine called life leave him further and further
behind. While this is 'time heals' for many, for us 'time' probably means
more like years rather than weeks. We don't want to move on and lose the
remaining and tenuous threads of contact with him.
We still give thanks though. Thanks for the gentle death he had. Thanks for
the suffering he was spared. Thanks for his full and fantastic life. The
list could go on. If you want a fuller list let me know and I will post one.
Hope 2009 is good for you.
Lindy
I came back to church this morning after a few months away and things felt different. Something had shifted. I looked over at you and fighting back tears realised that not only will we never have Ben back, but we will never have the same Mulherins back either, you will always have one missing. I miss the way things were before all this; Lindy's brave smile, Chris's ever penetrating questions about the youth...I'm sure it's all still there, but for a while it's been taken over by coping and it's sad to witness such sadness.
ReplyDeleteYes, thanks, we'd love a fuller list. We too want to remember even though sometimes is as painful as the first day. But Ben life deserve to be remembered...
ReplyDeletexoxox
Malvina
Dear friends, been away for some time and never touched a computer so first day back I logged on to hear about you all.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for every bit of news, comments , memories.
I can imagine it must be so hard to go back to "normal" life.....
All our love and good luck to pete and Matt at the new school and all the best to Tim with Medicine studies .......and Andy?
Love to all, Mercedes
So aptly said by the mum. I do hope that you guys preserve all the amazing entries in this blog - the journey, the perspectives and the memories. I'm not sure how you would ever know that it's time to close down this blog as really blogs can go on for years. Maybe this is the beginnings of a book...
ReplyDeleteWe love you guys!xxx
Dear Lindy and Chris, I would love to see an extensive list of what about Ben you give thanks for. I have my own personal list, but your list will help me and us all to remember the positives that is and was Ben. When I think of Ben, I think courage and dignity, and the inspiration that will remain with me for the rest of my days.
ReplyDeleteLots of Love