ourselves saying 'I remember that Ben…'
At the same time we are thinking and dreaming and talking about our
four healthy (thank God) boys. We hope and pray that they don't feel
second class because they didn't die. :-( That would be awful wouldn't
it?
Sometimes it seems so long ago that I knew Ben. Sometimes I look at
his stuff and I wonder if he was ever 3D. At the same time missing
him intensely is something we all live with in our different ways.
I have a friend who has been through something similar and she
writes me letters and always signs them off with 'Keep looking after
each other'. So far so good. It would be too easy to let a chasm form
as we try and process our pain in different ways.
I went past Ben's hole in the ground a few weeks ago (Melbourne Uni, it's officially his hole now) and saw the big yellow crane hanging almost limp over that massive cavity of earth. I felt so small and realised how quckly time seems to have gone by. I guess now it will be slowly filling up with metal and concrete, but your hole won't fill up with anything.
ReplyDeleteViva La Vida playing in the shopping centre. Felt like a smack to the chest. I try not to weep. I can only imagine the other things that effect you all, all of the time. Thinking of you always. Lol Meg
ReplyDeletei was reading the age this morning... about Angie who took her life "with dignity" she says. what a contrast.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to post your blog on the age somewhere.
i'm thankful for your courage and hope.
still praying.
xo