"I'll be fine."

This afternoon Richard and Rob, ministers from our church, visited Ben to pray with him. Although he’s been a bit confused he seemed to be on the ball for the time together and his humor and timing were impeccable.

Richard talked about the possibility of Ben dying and the firm Christian hope of being with God. Thinking about his own death, Ben said: “It will be crap for everyone else. I’ll be fine. I’m just worried about other people.”

I was teary at times and at one stage Ben slowly took off his oxygen mask and pushed it towards me. I thought he was confused and told him he needed to keep the mask on. He said: “You look like you need it.”

Richard talked again of facing death with faith and said, “This is where the rubber meets the road.” Ben replied slowly but without hesitation, “It’s just doing it really slowly.”

Before leaving Richard asked if Ben had anything else he wanted to say. Ben asked, “Is it wrong to discard the hope of getting better?” I think he was asking the question so many of us are asking as we live with the tension between praying for healing but also facing the reality of Ben’s possible death.

Richard read from the Bible, Romans chapter 8:

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. We groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as children, the redemption of our bodies ... We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose ... What, then, shall we say in response to this? ... Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ... For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.