Blogotherapy - from Chris

It was Ben's idea this blog. If you don't remember you'll have to go down the page and find the first blog posting less than 6 weeks ago. It's a very public way of charting the journey that finishes where we feared and expected it would. But how therapeutic it seems to have been. According to the counter at the bottom of the left hand column, over 1000 people visited the blog on Monday and in total there have been over 26 000 'visits'. Many people have told us of how helpful it has been.

But let me assure you, it is a mutual arrangement. It has meant so much to us to be able to be in touch with all those who loved Ben and to be able to simply 'talk' to you. Thank you so much.

We started the blog anonymously at Ben's request: no surname, no location, no hospital name. And also at Ben's request we named it "Ben's Got Cancer". Ironically Ben knew very little more about the blog because he was in hospital without internet access from the beginning. Although I think he actually wanted it that way: it was to be a conversation between the family and friends.

So can I ask you a favor? Please don't leave us just yet. There are still things to be said and perhaps comments to be made. If you have tried unsuccessfully to leave comments, you could send an email to BensGotCancer@gmail.com perhaps with the subject "Comment from..." and we will publish it in the comments section.

One day in the next few weeks or months this blog will close or simply fade into disuse. But not yet. Our grief is helped by being able to share with you. What started out as efficient communication has become hugely therapeutic for us and many of you. So let's continue the conversation a little while yet. And one day we'll ponder the philosophical and psychological implications of such public sharing of such private moments. Perhaps it's a 21st century version of the extended and very public grieving common to many cultures?

Meanwhile, for those who are interested, an autopsy is being performed on Ben's body in order to learn as much as possible about the cancer. We are preparing for the funeral on Sunday; an unconventional day for funerals but one when we hope many will be able to join us. And we are all grieving in our own ways: personally I look for moments away from others when I can allow the deep ache inside me to well up in silent and sometimes noisy tears. They are silent right now and I am struggling to read this text. Thank you for listening.

Ben, 2004, after finishing his first marathon.